The Space Between | Where Honesty Lives

Walls take time to build. They start small but over time they grow and take on a personality of their own.  Year by year we perfect and mend them until we have forgotten why they went up to begin with. They store our pasts, our broken hearts, and vulnerable feelings inside without complaint. They never laugh, nag, or cry. They simply stand silent guard over the shards of yesterday’s dreams. And most importantly, they never ask why.

Why?

The question is simple. But we seldom ask it of each other and never of ourselves. Maybe we fear the vulnerability of being wrong.  Maybe we think we already know the answer. Or maybe we are simply scared to admit that we don’t  like our answer any more than you will if we tell you.

It took about 5 pointed softly spoken questions to completely disarm my defense and crumble my wall. The final question of course was  “why?”.  My excuses were pathetic at best and I despised their stale clique taste as they came from my lips.

The truth? I know the real why. We always do.

But somehow it felt like if I admitted the why then it would truly become reality.

And that’s the real way walls work. They hide things so that they stay long ago memories and abstract ideas. I’ll be the first to admit what a beautiful thing that is until the wall comes down.

It only took 2 additional minutes of silence born from a saint’s patience and I was on the verge of tears. My heart was pumping and I nervously picked at a fingernail silently wishing I was anywhere else besides this room having this conversation. This wasn’t part of the plan. But then again when has anything gone according to the plan?

I held my tears back, diverted the conversation, and left the room as fast as I could.

That was a week ago.

This part is for you darling. You see I have a choice now. I can try to rebuild the wall that crumbled like Jericho or I can sort through the pile of ruble.  Building walls is a one man job. Picking up the pieces of messes from years past? That’s at least a four coffee date with your best friend job. It’s a job that will probably lead to more questions that I won’t want to answer at first. It’s going to be a little messy but I think it’s time to tear down the other walls and clear the space.

What will you choose to do when one of your walls falls? If you need some help clearing the ruble I’ve already got my work gloves on…