The Space Between | Where Honesty Lives

There is a spot on campus. It’s small and often overlooked. But it’s my spot.  I was sitting on the cold concrete staring at an unrelenting memorial flame, wearing jeans and tennis shoes when I realized I was about to walk down the aisle of self-commitment.

Truth be told I didn’t really think about the consequences of attending university.
I didn’t think about the friends who wouldn’t understand why I had to miss out on parties.
I didn’t think about the stress that haunts the path of academic perfection.
I didn’t think about the tears of frustration.
I didn’t think it was a going to be a lonely journey.
I didn’t think it was a lesson in commitment.

I know your journey may not have anything to do with a double major. It might be life after a break up, a cross country move, a health hurdle, or even a career change.

It is a terrifying moment when you realize you’re all in. When two lovers pledge devotion they do so for rich or poor, health or sickness, good times or bad. We invite special people, wear fancy clothes, and throw a grand party so all can see.

Committing to someone is hard.

Committing to yourself is a whole different matter.

It happens quietly.  You’ll be on your own. And you’re usually not wearing an ivory ball gown or black tuxedo.

Here is what I can pass along to you as you walk down your aisle:

Keep your corner deep — not wide. Our society loves to lament and cry on social media. Virtual attention is great but it’s not going to give you enough encouragement to get you through when you’re at your limit. Find those few precious ones who know you best and keep them close.

Trust yourself. You are so much stronger and can handle so much more than you think. You really can go a day without texting the boy who is slowing breaking your heart. You really do have the strength to take the stairs instead of the elevator. You can work through the night to meet a 9am report deadline. You can do it. Your goals are worth fighting for and it’s ok if you’re the only one fighting for them.

You do You. This has been my motto as of late. When you focus your energy on your goals you will have less strength to keep up any pretense of a social mask. The real, unedited, raw, beautiful you will emerge. Let your creative/ analytical/ quirky/ introverted flag fly! You can’t commit to yourself if you don’t love yourself. Some people won’t understand and they will fade into your social background and that’s OK.

I’ve walked enough steps down the aisle to the tempo of my own tune that I can now look back a bit. There was plenty I didn’t think about when I started. If I had known everything there is a chance I wouldn’t have said “yes” to this journey. I’m grateful I took that leap to have faith in myself.

I still walk to my spot after class. It’s often out of the way and usually takes longer than a 2.5 minute march to Canon in D.  I go because being in class until 10pm  has a very short honeymoon period. I go to remember that commitment is a process and is bigger than my current mood. I’ve walked barefoot across campus on moonlit sidewalks celebrating victories. I’ve also limped to my car holding a broken high heel in the rain.

We walk down aisles not because they are easy, but because we believe that what is waiting for us at the altar is worth the effort.

I don’t know what aisle you are walking down right now. I don’t know if you’re about to take your first hesitant step or your last confident one. But I do know that you are the only one who can walk through your journey. I do know that everything you need to succeed is within you already. I do know that you will fall and you will be able to pick yourself back up. I do know that you can be your biggest fan. Most importantly, I do know that you are worth committing to.